jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

outlaws are wanted

come on reblog this my grandma told me this joke and was convinced she was going to be famous on tumblr for it

every time my mom and grandma get into an argument my grandma says “excuse me pamela i am famous on the tumbler”

(via lovely-little-hellfire)

spreezpz:

spreezpz:

Therapists are just…. Common sense filters

Me: yeah so I just don’t have the energy to get up and make myself a sandwich or wait for something to cook so I just. Don’t

Her: why don’t you just eat the sandwich components without putting them together

Me:

Her: you can just eat a handful of cheese and some sandwich meat. You don’t have to make a sandwich.

Me:

Me: what

(via lovely-little-hellfire)

kylo:

me after discreetly tasting yet another himalayan salt lamp

(via thebeatlebird)

gayestcryptid:

me, pressing the side of my head into my cat’s side: you sound like a car… i love you, motor boy

(via itsjustfirealarms)